Fox News’ Jesse Watters finds drinking from straws to be ‘effeminate’
In another tragic display of fragile masculinity, Fox News host Jesse Watters has shared his rules for how to be a Man™, and yes, they’re as ridiculous as you think they are.
Telling men they cannot wave with both hands wasn’t enough. Watters also genuinely seems to believe that men should never drink from straws, enjoy milkshakes, eat soup in public, or cross their legs. During a broadcast of the Fox News segment The Five earlier this week, in which the hosts discussed former vice presidential candidate Tim Walz at length—including the time Walz, to Watters’ horror, drank a milkshake through a straw—Watters explained that drinking from straws is “effeminate” because of the “way your lips purse,” and “milkshakes are for children,” despite milkshakes just being ice cream in liquefied form. Does he not eat ice cream, either? No milkshakes, no soup … does this man ever enjoy life’s simple pleasures without worrying that he looks manly enough? What a terrible way to live.
Watters said all this in response to Walz, who spoke to Gavin Newsom on his podcast about the weird obsession with hyper-masculinity, and how it’s affecting society and MAGA-affiliated men, in particular. He also jokingly said he could “kick all their ass*s.” This predictably got right-wing conservatives all riled up, including Watters, who fired back at Walz by reminding his viewers Republicans had nicknamed him “Tampon Tim” because Walz campaigned for easily accessible menstrual products in schools. That’s not the burn Watters thinks it is, and certainly not combined with his inane rules about how to conduct yourself in public as a man.
Walz responded on X soon after, “There’s nothing weird about Jesse Watters secretly enjoying a bowl of soup alone in the dark,” with a clip of Watters’ rant from The Five segment.
Of course, Walz wasn’t the only one to ridicule Watters’ perspective. Over on Bluesky, user Paul John Lyon wrote: “Today, I’m going to eat delicious soup with my legs comfortably crossed and drink a tasty milkshake with a straw. And if anybody questions my masculinity, I’ll just continue to eat my delicious soup while sitting comfortably with my legs crossed, drinking my tasty milkshake through a straw.”
Another poster called out the Fox presenter’s hypocrisy and included a picture of Watters drinking from a straw during a Fox News broadcast (that one made me laugh out loud, not going to lie), while someone else wrote, “Jesse Watters is hardly what I’d consider a ‘real man.'”
Eat your soup, drink your milkshakes, use straws, and cross your legs to your heart’s content, people. Jesse Watters’ opinion on the matter is utterly meaningless.
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